It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
