You made me cry and you don't even care
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
