I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
