Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
