My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
im six kinds of drunk right now
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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