K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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