the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
