i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
