He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
