YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
