RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
My pussy is not your playground.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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