Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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