I wish I could teleport
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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