idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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