Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
