she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
