Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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