he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
