yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
