We're like a lot better than the average bears
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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