Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm both gender and math confused
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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