i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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