you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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