I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
