yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
