this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize