The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
