I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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