arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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