it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
