P.S. I can't hear my feet
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
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