i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
