Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
