they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
