wakey wakey hands off snakey
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
