hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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