Where are you?
In a non slutty way
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
