We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
