after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
