You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
