either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
