Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize