I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
