He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
