Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
