nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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