We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
