She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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