So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
