Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
