i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
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