I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
