It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
