Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
