he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
