I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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