Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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