Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
