its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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