Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The beers last night were like the tears from god
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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