Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I would fuck him just for his dog
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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