No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
