We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
this boner is exhausting
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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