I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
