wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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