if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize