dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Randomize
