i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize