you win again, gameday.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
