She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
